The Village

Strength and weakness.  They seem so far apart from each other.  When in reality they can come from the very same breath, the same source.  Sometimes the very thing that drives you forward is also pulling you backwards at the same time.  I think this is why with great success, there is also the possibility of great failure.

I have always been the type of person who likes to do things on my own.  When Grace began to show signs of autism I easily jumped into that role of the problem solver.  My strength - to do anything and everything to help her - paid off.  Grace got better.  And that part of me that solves problems, that part that helps people, got even stronger.   What I didn't notice was that at the same time a different part of me was getting weaker.  That was the part of me that trusts people.  The part that lets other people help me, and help my kids.  That part got weaker every single day.

I don't blame myself, or really anyone for this.  A lot of it stems from the fact that everywhere we turned we were not listened to.  I would take Grace somewhere and expect help, or an answer, and instead be turned away, be given the wrong information.  Or, worse yet, be told that there was something the matter with me.  By the time Grace started kindergarten I trusted almost nobody.

But here's the thing.  After a while I just got tired of standing alone.  So that's when I started to make a village.  For the first few years it was the smallest village in the history of villages.  But it was a start.  I had no idea if my village would help me, or Grace.  But guess what?  It did.  Friends.  Doctors.  Teachers.  Parents.  Colleagues.  Administrators.  Over the years my village grew.  And as it grew I slowly started to trust people again - trust them with my own children and trust them with my students.

A village is just what it sounds.  A group of people living and working together.  I'm learning that children need a village - and so do grown ups.  Because as much as I'd like to think I can, I can't do everything myself.  Perhaps great success really depends on your ability to trust others with the ones you care the very most about.