I can always count on Grace to tell me the truth. She hasn't learned how to lie yet. It has never even occurred to her. This isn't because I am some amazing parent (my 6 year old can pull one over on me easily). It's because autistic kids are brutally honest. Gracie always tells me the truth - every detail - often more than I asked for...
Grace is a loyal friend. She only has a few good friends, but she tries hard (in her own way) to care for them. I will find her drawing pictures, making cards and necklaces for friends. When I ask her about them she always explains exactly how each color in the necklace means something, or how she drew that picture because of something her friend said they liked one time, often a year or more ago. Grace LISTENS to people. She PAYS ATTENTION and REMEMBERS even when it doesn't look like she is.
Grace, and many people on the spectrum are extremely intelligent. She can answer and process things that I often can not. Her overall IQ is in the 94th percentile. The way she processes information is in a systematic method of elimination. Always starting at the top and organizing her way to the bottom. She is totally amazing to me.
Grace's innocence, and the innocence of every ASD child I've ever met is the thing that sits with me the most. By the end of kindergarten most children start to become involved in social drama. This is totally natural. I waited for it with Grace - it never happened. I thought for sure in first grade there would be some issues - none. This continued. Nothing in second. Nothing in third. Now in fourth grade still nothing. The truth is that there is plenty of drama but Grace pays absolutely no attention to it. She is oblivious to most of it, and doesn't understand the rest. What she does understand is very, very limited. "Mom, ____ and ____ fight a lot so I don't want to play with them at recess". "What do you do then Grace?" "Oh I just sit and wait for recess to be over!" "That doesn't sound very fun. Maybe you could find another friend to play with?" "Nah. I just like to be alone sometimes".
Innocence is a wonderful thing. In 4th grade innocence protects you from hurt feelings. It keeps you safe from drama at school - lets you live in your own lovely world. But what does an innocent autistic girl do in middle school? I don't have an answer for that. This year Grace is blessed to have a teacher who "sees" her. She brings out the gifts of autism - loyalty, honesty, intelligence, and innocence. She allows those gifts to shine - and Grace to shine. I only hope that as she grows into a middle schooler and beyond that she has more teachers that truly "see" her. That see autism for what it can be. That allow a little innocence. Because autism can be a gift. And keeping a little innocence along the way is a gift to the world.
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