Confessions of a picky eater

I was reading something the other day about childrens' picky eating habits (http://twentytwowords.com/picky-eaters-gallery/),  It was hysterical but none of them could hold a candle to my own children.  So I thought I'd write a few of Grace's.  These are just a few.  I could go on and on...

Hello.  My name is Grace Hoiness and I will only eat chicken nuggets if they are burned.  They must be uniformly burned.  This means that the entire nugget must be black.  If there are parts that are varying shades of brown I will refuse to eat the entire nugget or (if I am in a very good mood) I will only eat the black part.  My mother achieves this state of blackness by broiling my nuggets in the oven on the high setting.  This causes smoke to pour out of the oven and the house to appear to be on fire.  I do not care about this. 
I only care about my black chicken nuggets.  

I also like bacon.  I do not like my bacon burned.  If my bacon is dark or is cooked to any varying shades of black I will not like it.  When cooking my bacon my mother must make sure to STOP cooking it while it is still soft.  Because while chicken nuggets can only be eaten rock hard, bacon must be eaten floppy.  

Sometimes I like grilled cheese sandwiches.  My mother must NEVER make these.  They must be made with white bread and American cheese.  The people at  Applebees can make them for me.  My mother can never, never, never buy the ingredients and try to make me one.  Never.  

Right now I like pizza from Little Pizza Paradise.  It must be pepperoni.  If my family buys pizza from anywhere else I can still eat it.  But first I must get 10 paper towels and remove ALL the cheese and sauce and pepperoni.  Then I will eat the crust.  This makes me very grumpy.  My mother can also make me pizza.  She must use Trader Joes gluten free flatbread and cut out 20 small star shaped individual mini pizzas.  She uses a cookie cutter for this.  On the mini pizzas I have cheese, sauce, and pepperoni.  The pepperoni needs to be cut up into tiny pieces to fit onto the stars.  I like my mini pizzas dark and crunchy - like the nuggets.   This takes my mother a long time. 
 I always tell her thank you.