Trading one for another

Grace started third grade last month.  Even with a wonderful, supportive teacher it has been a difficult transition.  She struggles more socially these days then she did in first and second grade.  The need to "control" her environment has led to a "bossiness" and a lack of social reciprocity that is slowly taking it's toll on her friendships.

She struggles with keeping quiet during class time.  She talks to her friends and "needs" to finish what she says.  As school began this year she was having a harder time than usual with this.  Grace was coming home from school exhausted.  Her teacher was mentioning to me that Grace was having a hard time not talking to the child sitting next to her.  I asked Grace about this.  She told me that she was "checking" with her neighbors, almost constantly. For example, when her teacher asked the students to draw a "small sketch" of something Grace drew her sketch.  Then she looked at it and thought, "wait, she said SMALL, maybe this is too big, I'd better ask my neighbor what she thinks.  Now I'm going to erase it and do it over.  But wait, NOW, maybe it's too BIG.  I'd better check with my neighbor again...".  So it goes on and on and on with every conceivable subject and topic.  Grace was very concerned about getting in trouble.  She tried to control herself and became tired and exhausted.  She began having accidents at night.  I don't know if this is related or not.  But it is/was worrisome and stressful.

Over the last two weeks I have noticed her improving with not talking in class.  She has been doing less checking and rechecking with her peers in her classroom.  I was hopeful!  Then tonight we took her to the ear doctor for a recheck of her ears.  The doctor looked inside her ears and was surprised to find A LOT of tissue paper compacted deep inside her ear canal.  He pulled it out and asked how it had gotten there.  Grace said she had no idea.  Later, at home, she told me that she had been putting it in her ears because they didn't "feel right".

And so you see with OCD it never goes away.  You just trade one thing for another.